Contemplating Families

It is always strange to stay at other people's houses. 

This week, it's my spring break. Which is great, because I really needed time off from the normal humdrum of school life.

The Doctor agrees that it was time for a break.

I've been staying at the lovely Ally's house for this week, since a plane ticket back home cost too much. But I can't complain, because both she and her family (including the wonderful Athena) have been really welcoming.

I have to admit though, it has been really different from my home life.

As you might remember, I only have one elder brother, Ryan. Which makes the house to be pretty quiet, for the most part. On the other hand, Ally is the eldest of five, with the youngest being nine. This, of course, means that there is always something going on, whether it be school, or a silly argument, or anything else. It's actually been nice to spend time with her family, because they are so different from my own. It makes me realize how grateful I am for only having one elder sibling.

Not to say that big families are a bad thing!

It's just that I'm very introverted, almost painfully so. I've learned how to disguise it fairly well, but if you throw me in a large group of people I'll just listen to what others have to say, rather than speak up. There are even times when I'm just with my family when I just stay quiet, because I'd rather not interrupt. Or I just think about what I want to say for too long and, as a result, by the time I want to say something the flow of conversation has moved to a completely different topic.

This is me when I try to talk sometimes....

I imagine that if my immediate family were large, I would have adapted somehow. I honestly don't know how that would have worked out, possibly only because it didn't work out that way.

Anywho, I'm so glad that I've been able to spend time with Ally's family. They make me feel like I belong, which, although overwhelming at first, is really nice. It gives me a sense of security that, if I need to, I can talk to them about whatever, whenever. It makes me feel like I have a home away from home, and that is something that can't be replaced for anything.

Discerning Conversations

It’s weird how much one day, one conversation, or one moment can change your life.

               I've never really thought about it all that much before what happened a few weekends ago, because something happened that probably changed my life forever. 

               Before I begin to explain what happened, you should probably know that I’m a Catholic. (Roman Catholic to be specific, but unless you are Catholic that might not make sense to you.) Anyway, as a young woman who is a Catholic, I have to discern what God wants me to do. Of course, I could always just ignore what God wants me to do, but I don’t think that would end up too well.

               Anyway, a part of my (or anyone’s, I suppose) discernment, is that I have to figure out what type of lifestyle God is calling me to. There’s the well-known marriage route, but then there’s the also well-known, but not as acceptable to secular society consecrated life (whether that be in the convent or as a consecrated virgin), and there is, of course, the single life.

               Until a few weeks ago, I had kind of pushed away the possibility of the consecrated life. Of course, like many other Catholic girls, I had dreamed of being a nun when I was younger, but I never really gave it much consideration as I grew older. I did this because I thought that I should be a mother. However, I went to a talk that changed my viewpoint entirely.

               My college recently held a discernment weekend, where a bunch of priests, brothers, and sisters came out, and they gave talks. A married couple also gave a few talks, which was really good and helped me come to this realization even sooner.

               But anywho, during one of the talks that was given by a Dominican sister, she mentioned that all women are called to be mothers. She explained how feeling that way isn't a bad thing, and that even if you feel called to be a mother you should also look at the religious life, since sisters are the ‘mothers’ of all those who come to them for help.

               I had never thought of it that way, and now, because of realizing that, I’m beginning to think that I am called to be a sister. I had never really embraced the possibility, but the little voice in my head from when I was little never really went away. Talking to some of the Daughters of Saint Paul helped, as they really helped me learn more about what it means to be a sister, not a nun. (Nuns are cloistered, so you’ll never see a nun walking around. But you will see sisters, because they aren't cloistered.)

               So the Dominican sisters might not have even realized how important that talk was for me, and I wish that I could tell them, so I hope one day I can express my gratitude for opening my eyes a little bit.

               

               I’m not saying that I’m going to join the convent tomorrow, but I am thinking about it, which I think the world needs more of. Not to say that the married life isn't holy, because it is. But I feel like people push away the religious life since it’s not socially acceptable. I find that to be really sad.

   Hopefully it’ll change soon.

Hello!

Hello one, hello all!
Welcome to my blog, and I hope you enjoy your stay here.
I suppose I should introduce myself, after all, it’s only what’s proper.

               My name is Jennifer, and I am currently a freshman in my second semester of college. I managed, by some strange turn of fate, to survive the first semester, so I suppose we’ll see how this upcoming one goes.

               I have an absolutely lovely roommate in Emily, and somehow we manage to keep each other sane - or possibly insane… We haven’t quite decided yet. But she makes me pictures and we’re just fabulously nerdy together.

Look at what she made me for Christmas! It sums up how nerdy we are perfectly. :)

               At home my mom, dad, grandma, and, if you want to be facetious, my two dogs, await news regarding college adventures.

               I am the youngest out of two, so I text and call my elder brother, who is at a different college, quite often, and we keep in touch that way. Funnily enough, people often mistake us to be twins. With this assumption comes our slight frustration, and out of this, but more so for our own entertainment, we created our ‘twin birthday’, on July 13, which is in the middle of our birthdays.

               I’m an Austenite, Dickens lover, and all around bookworm, and I am involved in many different fandoms. Included are Sherlock, Doctor Who, Lizzie Bennett Diaries, and many, many more.

Speaking of books that I like and fandoms... Check out what Emily and I made for our heater/air-conditioner at college. (Yes, we named it Smaug.)

               This is my first ‘real’ attempt at having a blog, as I’ve had other small ones in the past, but I never really kept up with them, which ultimately resulted in my forgetting the passwords and/or usernames for the various blogs. So, hopefully, this attempt will have a better result.

               The name of this blog, ‘Paint Me Confuzzled’ comes from a variety of places, but mainly my artistic side and the part of me that is perpetually confused by one thing or another. This confusion is synonymous with curiosity, but ‘Paint Me Confused’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. Also, whenever I think of the word confuzzled I end up thinking of Pooh Bear, who will always have a place in my heart.

               I thank you dearly for coming and visiting me, and I do hope that you will come and see me again.