School, Stress, and the Inevitable Summer Reflections

Now, before I officially begin this post, I feel as though I should warn you that it might be a bit scattered. And when I say a bit, I mean a lot.

Since my last post in May (was it really May? It seems like it was sooner.) a lot has happened. So, lets get down to business.

(You're lying if you say that you weren't at least subconsciously thinking this) 

Over the entire summer, I was incredibly stressed. Which sounds strange, I know. Summer is supposed to be the time that you are free from stress, and you have the chance to recharge. Unfortunately, that wasn't what happened.

The two main sources of my stress were the fact that my mom was in the Netherlands, and that I was uncertain as to what to do about school.

Since my mom was in the Netherlands, my brother and I were the ones making sure Grandma was ok. (For clarification: my grandma lives with us, and can be unsteady on her feet so we wanted to make sure that she wouldn't accidentally fall and break something.)

While this an extreme example, it is what my brother and I wanted to avoid.

As for school, my mom and dad were both encouraging me to figure out what I wanted to do after college, so that I could make sure I was going to the right college. After a lot of prayer, thought, research, and tears, I came to the conclusion that God is calling me to be a special education teacher, and that Christendom wouldn't help me achieve that in the way that I needed it to.

I was really reluctant to let my parents know about this decision, partly because I wanted to go back to Christendom, and partly because it was close to when I had to leave for college when I came to this realization. And when I say close, I mean within two weeks of my flight.

However, I knew that they would be upset if I didn't tell them, so one evening, I texted my dad and asked what he thought if I decided not to go back to Christendom.

In the following two hours, there was a speaker-phone call, tears, and a decision was made. I would not be returning to Christendom.

This was me for about 2 weeks. I just couldn't stop crying.

The following weeks were a flurry of teary phone calls with friends, figuring out how to get personal belongings back, teary realizations, applying to community college, and, of course, more tears.

Unfortunately, I forgot to contact some of my friends, some of whom I want to remain close to. Hopefully they weren't too upset to arrive at school and hear from other people that I wasn't coming back...

In the end, I did end up getting into community college, and I also got two jobs. So I've been very busy lately.

Overall, I think that this summer, though it was very stressful, it was worth it. The stress paid off, and I feel as though I'm working towards what I want to do. And I know that the friends I made at Christendom will be life-long friends. And you just can't beat that feeling.

I freaking love my friends